Date file: Traveling Salesman

December 2018

So I had my first post-divorce fuck. It was…. ok. Lackluster. Whatever, I didn’t cry and it wasn’t terrible, so I’ll put it in the win column.

After I had put the kids to bed on a Thursday night, it was “my” night to go out (some terrible fucking system that me and the ex came up with where we could go out while the other one stayed home with the sleeping kids). I was just swiping on Tinder and came across this tall, blonde man who seemed cute and could laugh at himself. I read his profile and realize he’s a salesman based out of Seattle.

Hmmm. How do I feel about one night stand with a traveling sales dude? Well, fuck it, he may not even reciprocate my feelings of attraction, so what do I have to lose?

So I swiped left and left it at that (If this were Bumble, I’d hit you up, but this is Tinder. Unless he’s hotter than Hades, I want him to message me to show he’s remotely serious).

To my surprise, he messages me almost immediately.

He seems super normal. Just a dude, who happens to be in my city, doing his thing. He’s bored. I bring up the fact that my bestie lives in Seattle. He says it’s overrun by weirdos, but overall it’s pretty cool. I mention I plan on visiting once life settles down after my divorce. He comments that it’s probably best for me to get divorced bc I’m hot. Then he makes the remark that it’s his last night in town.

Oh how convenient.

We flirt a bit more, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to stay in for the night. Then he offers just to grab a beer and says he doesn’t want to come off as creepy.

Ugh. Ok fuck it.

So I meet him out at a Chili’s of all places. Because it’s late and a Thursday and despite him being in a major city, his hotel is in a weirdly remote part of the city. So here we go, to get lit at Chili’s on a Thursday.

Y’all. Chili’s bar is where it’s at. They hook you up, FR. You can double your alcohol for 75 cents.

Well, guess where this story is headed.

We get wasted at the bar, and laugh about stupid stuff, and he calls an Uber to take us back to his hotel. When we get there we drink and chat a bit more and he tells me how plesantly surprised he is by how fun and cool I am. We talk more about our lives, my divorce, his regrets over not having children at this point in life…..

And then suddenly my clothes are on the floor.

We move to the bed and before I know it his hand is over my mouth because I’m screaming so loudly in ecstasy. He shushes me and continues to take over my body and I feel things I haven’t felt in years. I lose count of how many times I orgasm.

We fuck 2 more times before we realize it’s 3 in the morning. He has a flight to catch and I have to take children to school in less than 4 hours.

He helps me find my clothes, and calls me an Uber back to my car at Chili’s. We exchange numbers and he walks me outside and makes out with me until the driver arrives. He tells me to call him whenever I come up to Seattle, and we say goodbye.

The next day is rough. I’m luckily not hungover, but super sleep deprived, and the ex-husband is furious that I was out all night and he had no idea where I was. I don’t care.

I realize I’m walking funny. The insides of my thighs are bruised. I text him and tell him that I’m clearly out of practice, but I still feel amazing. He tells me I just need to get fucked well more often. The weather is turning nasty, and I secretly hope his flight gets cancelled. But in a few hours, he’s back in Washington.

We don’t chat again.

…..Until last week, when I made plans to go visit my bestie for Memorial Day. I text him and let him know I’ll be up there.

Salesman: You gonna be in Redmond?

Me: Yeah, that’s the plan

Salesman: Sweet. Well, let me know.

We’ll see what happens in May….


2nd date: Not yet…

Sex: Yes

Ghosted: No. Responded very promptly even though it’s been almost 4 months.

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