MILFs are a VERY REAL THING

When my ex-husband dropped the bomb that he wanted a divorce, my first thought was, “no one will ever want a mom of three kids.” Emotionally, physically… no one will want me.

BOY, WAS I WRONG.

As a mom, we often lose our sexiness. We are the person who fixes boo-boos, picks up toys, sings lullabies, makes dinner, washes dishes, etc., etc. We are sleep deprived and if we still have sex, it’s usually because the husband has asked for it because Lord knows we are too fucking exhausted for it. And when you’ve been in a relationship for 15 years… a relationship that has been crumbling for a long time especially… the likelihood that you feel sexy in any possible way is slim to none.

So even if I kept my mom status on the DL, I didn’t think I was sexy. But because being a mom is such a huge part of who I am, I made sure to put it out there very clearly. Because the last thing I need is to fall for someone who wants nothing to do with children.

Imagine my surprise when not only did men not mind that I was a mom… they thought it was FUCKING HOT.

“What’s up, MILF?”

‘Scuse me, what? Are you talking to me??

Y’all. It’s a thing. A VERY REAL THING. I just thought it was some stupid thing in American Pie. I’m here to tell you, fellow moms, that men across America think that MILFs are where It. Is. At. Especially the young ones. I’m comfortably in my mid-thirties (more on sex in your 30’s compared to younger years later), and I had to beat the 20-somethings off with a stick. I shit you not. Eventually I found myself drawing my line at 10 years my junior because anything younger than that an I felt like a pedo.

The younger men find us mysterious, sexy, and I feel sure subconsciously more nurturing than our spawn-less counterparts. If we are a mom, most of the time that also means we are older, which draws in the whole cougar thing. And cougars are hot because they are EXPERIENCED. Because as I told one guy who was not quite as cool with my mom status, “where you think I got them babies from, son? The stork didn’t bring ’em!”

As one 27 well-hung gentleman said, “Moms are the best. They know what they want and they have snacks.”

Yes. Yes, we do.